Post by Ladybird on May 4, 2003 16:30:37 GMT -5
A dog Person's Dictionary:
ANGULATION: Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress the judges.
BALANCE: How to arrange the checkbook so your spouse won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom with the door locked.
pregnant dog: a) Name for a lady dog. b) Name often overheard at dog shows, not always to describe a lady dog.
COAT: The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show.
DAM: a) A lady dog with children. b) Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring.
ELBOW: Method of getting to ringside when late.
EXPRESSION: "Sweet" look adopted by dogs while staring ravenously at chunks of liver.
FANCIER: Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others.
FEATHERING: What winners are accused of doing to Judges' nests.
FRONT: Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside of the ring.
HEEL: a ) What you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice. b) Expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs.
HEIGHT: As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 inch.
HOCK: A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings.
KENNEL: Where you go when the lads fight and your spouse yells at you.
LITTER: Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show.
MASK: What to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago.
MUZZLE: What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night.
NOSEPRINTS: Cute marks left all over your French doors.
OUTCROSSING: What your spouse tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel with the dog and the pregnant dog.
POINTS: Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes.
PUPPIES: Small, dog-like food-processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies, (these creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with a leaky system, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank ac
ANGULATION: Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress the judges.
BALANCE: How to arrange the checkbook so your spouse won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom with the door locked.
pregnant dog: a) Name for a lady dog. b) Name often overheard at dog shows, not always to describe a lady dog.
COAT: The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show.
DAM: a) A lady dog with children. b) Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring.
ELBOW: Method of getting to ringside when late.
EXPRESSION: "Sweet" look adopted by dogs while staring ravenously at chunks of liver.
FANCIER: Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others.
FEATHERING: What winners are accused of doing to Judges' nests.
FRONT: Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside of the ring.
HEEL: a ) What you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice. b) Expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs.
HEIGHT: As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 inch.
HOCK: A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings.
KENNEL: Where you go when the lads fight and your spouse yells at you.
LITTER: Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show.
MASK: What to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago.
MUZZLE: What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night.
NOSEPRINTS: Cute marks left all over your French doors.
OUTCROSSING: What your spouse tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel with the dog and the pregnant dog.
POINTS: Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes.
PUPPIES: Small, dog-like food-processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies, (these creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with a leaky system, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank ac
